Maybe

I had a dream the other night, and it was wonderful.

I can't really tell you what happened, well I can a little. I remember parking in a gas station parking lot and getting out of the car with a guy and we walked down the country lane wrapped around each other. we weren't talking or anything, just walking. he lifted me over a small trickle of muddy water that crossed the road then we laughed as he teased me about pushing me into some fish hatchery pond where you could see the fish all bobbing to the surface with their mouths open.

He stopped walking and pulled me into him and kissed me and said "don't leave me baby" and I knew we were just parting for a couple of days. and we kissed some more.

I just remember feeling incredible. It wasn't the kissing, although that was great, but more the feeling. I liked him a lot, and I knew he liked me. I knew he would call me again and this wasn't just a one sided relationship.

I woke up feeling so good, and reveled in it in the shower. And I could feel his arms around me all day. Is that weird? okay I know it is but I don't really care.

I felt good and I felt happy and I wanted to just keep feeling that way.

Le sigh, here is where I tell you the lack of those feelings and the memory that it was just a dream make me feel lonely today.

I hope one day it won't just be a memory forever. I hope (and here is where I get religious) that I can continue to have faith that Heavenly Father loves me and knows me and knows my desires and will provide for me.

I know without a doubt this life is not made for us to live it alone, and maybe I am just being tested right now. Maybe one day I will look back and realize this was all for my good.

**sigh**

Maybe